Chemistry of Love

I read a really interesting article this weekend about the chemistry behind love, which I feel relates directly the the reading from the book about dating and married life.

The Article is from washingtonpost.com
Titled: An Affair of the Head

The article that I read explained how Dopamine and Norepinephrine are linked to the romantic feelings that we commonly associate with love. The article explained how when we fall in love these "natural stimulants" noticeably increase throughout the brain. Also, that the feeling of love is not in our hearts but actually transmitted through the same parts of our brains that are affected by cocaine and other stimulating drugs. Meanwhile, Serotonin is put into effect, the same neurotransmitters that obsessive compulsive persons have increased levels of. So while our brains are going into over drive with Dopamine and Norepinephrine, they are being told to be follow obsessive compulsive thought patterns by the Serotonin. Welcome to the feeling of being in love!

The only problem with these highend levels of Neurotransmitters is that it can not last forever. Just like a drug addicts high shortly fades. The most important thing is that people realize this is going to happen, and not end their relationship to search for the next person that comes along and give them the initial "high" of falling in love.

A neurologist from a California research institute noted that, "The search for eternal passion is very misguided," she says. "It's the search for the perfect high that keeps people discarding relationships right and left . You don't feel the same way you did; people want to break up, instead of seeing it as normal."

This is where patience and the willingness to work through differences comes in. No relationship is perfect, nor are the partners in the relationship perfect. For this reason it is important to focus on having a balance of passion, commitment, and intimacy, in order to keep a balanced relationship. As well as working through personal differences in personality to keep the relationships bond close.

I have personally expierenced the phases of falling in love with my current boyfriend. We definitely went through the initial "high" of falling in love which faded after a year as so. We still love each other deeply, but are more comfortable around each other and trust each others decisions. Because of this we are able to stay committed but not loose track of keeping passion and intimacy a balanced part of our relationship.